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Sep. 9th, 2009

And now,

Since it's been so long, let me remind you that this is the maternity episode we're talking about. Remember that bit of...um....fun? Well, I shouldn't be too cruel, there was definitely some good stuff up there. I thought it was way too obvious that pretty much none of the designers have been pregnant, though. They all just added extra fabric for the belly and an awful lot of them didn't think about the other major factors: excess boobage, comfort, modesty, etc.

Now, one by one...and I'm too lazy to post pictures so if you need a refresher just go to Lifetime's site to see the pics. Alright, here we go...

Althea: Boring, but nice looking at least. The bust would be a nice design, but omg I would be popping out of those cups and I'm basically an ironing board. Those are NOT made for pregnant boobs. The back of the dress would be gorgeous if it wasn't horribly executed. And I'm really perplexed as to why it should be so horribly executed - overall the dress is really simple and safe, so there's no excuse for hurrying through part of it or whatever happened to make the back so messy. The bust and the back are the only remotely interesting parts of the dress, they should have been better!

Carol Hannah: Hmm. The dress itself is really, really cute. I'm a bit undecided about the belly-swoosh, but other than that it's a great shape. But that little jacket thing over it - awful! What IS that? It's like a shrug and a vest and...some sort of shark...mated. The shape of it is just ridiculous, the treatment of the fabric is bizarre, I don't know who on earth would want to wear a sleeveless jacket thing over a sleeveless dress, it doesn't go with the dress AT ALL, it makes the model look really flat-chested and oddly shaped, it hits at a weird area on the dress making that whole area look frumpy, and it covers up some of the interesting details on the dress. I just don't get it at ALL.

Christopher: Definitely cute! Great color, and a very cute shape. Some execution issues, but nothing TOO horrible. The only thing I'm not sure about is the whole top + tights/leggings look for a pregnant woman. I don't know if you'd really want to be flashing your ass clad only in leggings to the world while you're pregnant, and the top's not long enough to really cover you. I don't like that look in general, but I don't think anyone would like it if they were pregnant. And how do maternity leggings work anyway? I'm just envisioning the fabric being too tight and constricting against your belly, idk.

Epperson: Um, WHAT? Okay, the jumpsuit thing itself is not too awful. Not anything I would wear in a million years, but not awful. The back is actually kind of nice. It's not fit very well, though, the baby bump is pulling at the fabric so much it looks like it isn't maternity clothing at all. But even that pales in comparison to...THAT THING HE PUT OVER IT. It's so ugly! It's so ugly and looks like she's stapled a tablecloth around herself. And it's so, so, so wrong for a pregnant girl, it's making her belly look ten times huger than she is! I don't think any pregnant woman would ever like that look.

Gordana: Pretty cute! Again with the whole top + leggings thing, though. And the top is sort of...wonky. The whole straps/bust area just looks a little off to me. It's just not very interesting either. But that little cardi - so cute! I would wear that right this instant, I love it!

Irina: Cute, albeit simple. The blue-on-blue works really well, and I'm not even a fan of blue. Love the contrast between the shiny and the matte too. And the little belt thingie makes the back really cute. The random THING that's stuck on the front is awful, though. I can't see the bust working for a pregnant girl, but on the other hand if it did it probably wouldn't fit the model at all, so I'm not sure what the best thing to do there is. The other issue: the baby bump takes up so much fabric that the dress is wayyy shorter in the front. It's like, indecently short. No pregnant girl would want to wear that. And even if it wasn't SO short, it's still weird to have it be so mismatched. I know it's hard to have more fabric in the front and get the hem to look right and all that, but, um, that's why you're the fashion designer and I'm not.

Johnny: Um, I love Johnny, but this is awful. Those white seams are ugly, and they're poorly done too. They're also the only real "thing" the dress has - beyond them, it's just boring and weirdly shaped. I guess he was pressed for time since he scrapped the first dress he was working on, but this is just no good.

Logan: Really cute! See, this is the RIGHT way to do the top + leggings look for maternity wear. I'm still not convinced leggings would be comfortable, but at least he made the top long enough to cover her ass. And it's cute cute cute. Not crazy about the gold collar, but whatever. I'm also not sure about the seam that kinda frames her belly. That seems kinda weird.

Louise: I like it! It's a bit busy, though - I think she should have ditched the lace layer underneath at the bottom and the thing on the shoulder. But the color and shape are really cute. And I just LOVE her for thinking about stuff like the adjustable hem and the pleating at the bust so you've got room to grow. LOVE. Too short, though. It's weird, with the adjustable hem she clearly thought about the issue, but the dress is still way way too short.

Malvin: Oh god, what was he thinking? I don't even have anything to say.

Mitchell: Um. I actually think the design itself was really, really cute, his execution was just awwwful. If he had the skills to actually do it well, it would have been great. Not much to say beyond that.

Nicolas: Hmm. I don't know whether I'm just getting tired of doing this or what, but I really don't have much to say about this either. It's nice, I guess. Not my style, but it looks good and it's pretty well executed. The shoulders look really nice. Is that a pencil skirt, though? Who thinks pregnancy and pencil skirts go together???

Qristyl: Boring boring boring! Looks like she just wrapped the fabric around the model, pinned, and sent her down the runway. It's pretty awful. And that color does NOT go with the black under-layer at ALL omg.

Ra'mon: Haha, well, it's a really really nice design, just...not for a maternity dress. I mean, if he was TRYING to design a bowling ball bag it would have been gorgeous! The colors work well together and he created some really nice looking shapes. They're just not the shapes you want on your pregnant belly. I will say this, though, the back of the dress is fantastic!

Shirin: Ohhh, girl SO deserved the win! The draping at the neckline is great, the deep V in the back is gorgeous, especially considering your back is something that's not going to look too different during pregnancy so it's a really good area to show off. The way the skirt falls is fantastic. And the little smocking framing the belly looks great! She added a detail framing the belly the same way Logan did, except that Shirin did it RIGHT. It's a bit more subtle and a LOT more elegant and looks great. The color of the dress looks great too. And the coat? GORGEOUS. The style is great, it looks well made, and the lining is amazing - such a cute fabric AND it matches the dress so well! I love it. And I'm really impressed that she was able to make a cute dress and a cute coat in the allotted time AND make them both WELL. You go, girl!

Whew, done! I was sorta losing steam towards the end there but I made it! Hopefully my entry on episode 3 will come at some point tomorrow; I want to get it out of the way before the next episode airs!


yellow submarine
some kind of happiness is measured out in miles

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